Will you let your 6-year-old go to school alone?

Boys, especially between 5 and 7 years old, start to request for more freedom and independence. But as Asian parents, we are by nature more cautious. How much independence will you give their child?

I have a friend who allows her son total freedom to roam around the condominium where she lives. Her door is never locked and her 7-year-old son never informs her where he is going. Every day after school, he runs out of the house in search of his friends in the neighbourhood and embarks on one adventure or another in the garden, playground, pool and neighbours’ homes. Yet, every evening, he invariably finds his way home.

Luckily, she has a good network of neighbours in the condominium who help look out for him. In this way, he is allowed the freedom to roam and explore freely within the boundaries of the condominium. He is independent and fearless, and occasionally gives his mom a few near-heart-attacks (by falling into a drain or disappearing in new environments).

In case you are wondering, she is an Asian mum.

As Asian parents, we are by nature more cautious, sometimes a tad too cautious, if you ask me. We are fearful for their safety, wary of strangers and paranoid of the unknown – courtesy of all the psycho-killer series like C.S.I and Criminal Minds.

When our children were toddlers and preschoolers, we fostered independence in them by encouraging them to pick out their own outfits and dress themselves, potty-trained them and taught them to be responsible for their toys and to follow simple clean up routines. Somehow, as they approach school-age, we slacken on the independence highway.

Boys generally start to request for more freedom and independence at this age. They want to take the elevator up by themselves. They want to go to their neighbour’s house without an accompanying adult. They crave adventures and enjoy being sent on “missions”.

Our reader, Jeannie Foo recently asked on our forum page: Would you let your child go downstairs to wait for the school bus on his/her own?

Her 7-year-old son had been requesting to be on his own when waiting for the school bus. The general response from our local parents is Nay!

Not A Good Idea

Emily Eva Tan doesn’t think it’s a good idea. And she has her supporters. Jaswinder Kaur Obias said that she wouldn’t “coz you never know when the bus is coming or if it’s gonna be late.” It’s not a good idea to leave a child unattended, she adds.

Zonna Ong also concurs. “I wouldn’t let my daughter do that too. She goes to school at 6:20am and its still quite dark… her bus comes at 6:30am. There are cleaners and strangers walking around downstairs. It might be dangerous.”

Elaine Gan also agrees that she would not allow her primary 1 son that much independence now as “he is still quite playful and she’s afraid that he’ll run to the road.”