Fostering a positive attitude towards learning

All of us have an emotion towards learning. While some kids love to study and learn (literally), the majority enjoy learning in a fun and playful manner.

But for Singaporean parents, play is a “taboo” word that just does not go together with learning. “When my child is playing, how can he/she be learning or studying?” they protest.

That’s where Roderick Chua disagrees. Psychologically speaking, he says, we all learn best through play; that’s why in adult classes, we are encouraged to play games and interact so that the learning is better absorbed. The key issue then, is to have focus play.

The consultant and head coach at Edu.Quantum has had more than 20 years of experiences teaching, coaching and guiding youths as a tutor and pastoral counsellor. Currently pursuing his master degree in psychology, Roderick is interested to enhance the emotional attitude of his students towards learning.

What are your child’s feelings towards studying?

Roderick explains that the taxing education system in Singapore drives parents to enrol their child for tuition or enrichment at the first sign of a dip in grades or out of fear that their child couldn’t cope.

When befuddled parents question Roderick about their child’s poor grades or learning attitude despite the numerous tuition or enrichment programs they have engaged for them, he would turn the tables on them and ask: Does tuition build up a positive emotion towards learning? If the answer is no, then the tuition is ineffective.

He adds that oftentimes, the children feel that there is very little disregard for their feelings towards learning. The kids may feel resentful that their rights to play or free time have been violated. Homework is a chore, and they feel that they are forced to do things (i.e. go for tuition) that are not to their liking or decision. This, he said, is the beginning of a negative emotion towards learning.

Thus, for a child to learn well, we should access the level of emotional association the child is at towards learning – is it positive, negative or neutral?

Implementing play in learning

When a child becomes sensitive to learning, he/she will have adverse reactions to learning or even doing homework (read Help your child to like homework). Some of these reactions include dislike to do homework, untidy handwriting, poor grades despite preparation and taking shortcuts in their work.

Roderick explains that there is a difference between learning and studying. The former is fun and enjoyable, while the latter is hard work. Thus, in order to encourage positive feelings in a child towards learning, it is important to implement play in learning, especially for the younger kids.

As part of his lessons, Roderick always play games with his students. For example, in his English lessons, his students are broken into teams and encouraged to find as many meanings of the words as they can. He allows them to use the dictionary, thereby encouraging them to be independent in acquiring knowledge and to make use of external resources. In Mathematics, he challenges his students in a “who is faster / more accurate” match.

He also understands that kids, especially those in lower primary, need movement in class. Hence, in his classes, he has his students practise discussion, do projects, collect data, do presentations, and include riddles and solutions.

His students always look forward to his classes and are invariably disappointed when he couldn’t make it to class. “That’s how much my students enjoy learning,” he reports with a laugh.

As a centre that offers tuition, he is especially adamant that P1 and P2 students should not have any tuition as they are too young to be stressed with academic purposes, and are not mature enough to process certain learning skills.

Roderick shares the side effects of students who are ahead in their academic level. In upper primary, the stress and dullness in school could discourage him from learning and he may begin to hate the whole education process.

Instead, his centre offers play-base enrichment programs for these groups of students by focusing on these:

• Build up Confidence
• Character development
• Communication Skills

Edu.Quantum – keep the interest in learning and students in school

Edu.Quantum concentrates on the P3 to P6 and prides itself more as a coaching centre than a tuition centre. It uses psychological techniques, positive education emotions and parental support to help the child learn effectively.

The philosophy of the centre is to train its students to be leaders, not followers. In this essence, they are interested to keep their interest in learning and students in school. Their students learn the SUCCESS formula to do well in school:

1. excel in their studies
2. build up their interpersonal skills
3. be a fun person to be around

As their students gain confidence in themselves and their learning abilities, they also pick up these essential techniques:

• Teambuilding techniques
• Presentation skills
• Study skills
• Confidence building
• Creative Writing

Edu.Quantum Learning Systems is located at Blk 134 Jurong Gateway Road, #04-309R, S600134, For more information, call 6566-8835.

This article first appeared in theAsianparent.com

Discipline from a child's perspective

I was a really good child, not because I wasn’t mischievous or experimental or curious like every child, but because I had a mother who believed in using the feather duster rod as a disciplinary tool.

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And like most Asian moms, my mother had the “LOOK”, which I’m sure many of you are familiar with. It’s that “LOOK” that freezes every fibre in your body; that “LOOK” that says if you don’t stop what you’re doing right now, you’re getting the “ROD”.

Today, I’m a mother of two and I found myself using the “LOOK” once or twice with my 4-year-old son in an effort to discipline him. It worked. I don’t know if it was a lucky coincidence or perhaps my son is a lovely, accommodating boy.

With my 2-year-old daughter, the “LOOK” is completely ineffective. Whenever I tried it with her, she would mock me and promptly dissolve me into laughter.

Discipline is a tough subject for parents. There are so many “what ifs” and “what not’s”. Do we discipline or not? When and how should we discipline? What kind of disciplinary measures should we use? When does discipline become corporal punishment?

Then there are the questions based on our personal beliefs and experiences. Giving a “time-out” or smacking – which is more effective? Who is the disciplinarian – Mom or Dad? Is the “crime” deserving of the “punishment”? Are we under-disciplining or over-disciplining?

While researching on this subject, I found plenty of literature to help parents answer the above questions. But what about the child in this equation? What is his or her opinion on discipline? After all, we were all children once and how we were disciplined, now influences the way we discipline our children.

So in the name of fairness, this article is dedicated to explore discipline from a child’s perspective. What is discipline to a Child?

Discipline is INFORMATION

Children have a built-in mechanism called curiosity which challenges them to experiment, question and examine their immediate surroundings in their quest for knowledge.

They are compelled to defy the boundaries to confirm your allegations. If you say the iron is hot. Well, they need proof. If you tell them that the jungle gym is too high to climb, well, that’s a challenge they can’t resist.

Children’s love affair with the television is legendary. It’s a great source of information and they will watch it for hours if you allow it. These little geniuses know you’ll allow them to watch MORE television programs when you’re amazed. Hence, they offer snippets of social wisdom learned from Strawberry Shortcake, speak phrases of Spanish (courtesy of Handy Manny), and tell you about the distant places they’ve been with The Little Einsteins.

Discipline is SECURITY

Children like rules and routines. It gives them stability and familiarity. Once in a while, they like to test the boundaries and the authority of the rules (that’s you, mom & dad) to ensure that they are dependable. But the truth is that they are secretly entertained by mom and dad’s reactions to their “rebellion”.

Discipline is CONFUSING

Children are keen observers who enjoy emulating the behaviour of adults around them. My husband is big on manners and often instructs my son not to speak with his mouth full at the dining table. On a few occasions, he was caught talking with food in his mouth by my son and was gravely reprimanded.

Another point of contention is ambiguous instructions from adults. Contrary to what adults think, young children are unable to multitask. Thus, giving them multiple instructions only renders confusion. A more effective way to communicate would be to provide one or two succinct instructions at a time. In addition, the instructions should be conveyed in a language that is clear and simple for the child to understand. Sometimes, children seem defiant because they don’t know what the adult wants or how to fulfil instructions that they have been given.

Discipline is DISRESPECTFUL

Remember that day you had a million errands to run? And you were hurrying your child because you were behind schedule and distracted? He was dragging his feet and you asked “Why are you so slow? Come on, come on!!” Or remember the arguments that ended with you saying “because I said so…” to your child?

Children are a work in progress. Physically, their short legs are just unable to catch up with our long ones. Emotionally, they are still discovering where the buttons are and how to express themselves. Is it any wonder when they refuse to cooperate?

Children are people too. They desire respect and recognition as individuals with different temperaments. They feel affronted when adults deny their rights to accomplish tasks in their personal style, and protest with resistance, challenges and tantrums.

Discipline Tips for Parents

If you’ve instructed, demonstrated or clarified any information to your child, then without a doubt, you are a disciplinarian.

Often confused with punishment, a disciplinarian is really a teacher, a mentor or a leader to the child. Judith Graham, Extension human development specialist (Family Issues Facts), provided the following disciplinary guidelines for parents:

1. Set reasonable limits. Setting reasonable limits offers realistic parameters for children and helps them feel secure. Be consistent with your limits, otherwise you will confuse the children and risk added misbehaviour.

2. Explain consequences. When used properly, explaining consequences teaches children about responsibility and decision-making. Parents can adopt this strategy to help children understand that their choices produce results that may be unpleasant. For example, if the child chooses to touch a hot iron, he will get burn. However, parents must be willing to accept the child’s decision and grant the latitude of learning from experience (in a safe environment, of course).

Consequences can be natural or logical. Natural consequences let children learn the natural order of the world. For example, “If you don’t eat, you will be hungry.” Logical consequences are consequences that are arranged by the parents. For example, “If you don’t put your dirty clothes in the hamper, you won’t have clean clothes to wear to school.”

3. Take corrective action as soon as possible. It is important to correct misbehaviour soon after it occurs. Carry out the logical consequences you’ve established for your child. If you don’t, what are you really teaching your child?

4. Stay calm. Anger can “turn off” or “tune out” your child. It may make the corrective action ineffective. It may also create unneeded power plays. Any kind of punishment done calmly is more effective than that done in anger.

5. Provide a short time to “cool down.” Popularly known as a “timeout,” the intent is to allow parent and child time to calm down and manage their emotions such as anger. Timeout should be brief and not be mistaken by the child as punishment. Follow up after the timeout teaches the child the skill of regaining composure and the ability to resolve conflict calmly.

6. Set an example. Discipline is best taught by example.

Discipline is a difficult task for the parents but when it is executed properly, the rewards are overwhelmingly satisfying.

This post was first published in theAsianparent.com in 2009. It is also posted on the I Love Children website.

Zoe Tay shares on being a working mom and discipline

Grab Zoe Tay's limited edition Similac Mummy Tote bag and Gain IQ Baby Rompers and read about her boys, her discipline style and how she manages parenting with her busy lifestyle.

A revered celebrity, an award-winning actress, a doting mom to 3 lovely boys, and now, a budding designer!! Is there anything that this versatile queen cannot do? We caught up with the Queen of Caldecott at the First Moms’ & Dads’ Congress supported by Abbott Nutrition, where she was promoting her self-designed tote bag and baby rompers.

theAsianparent (TAP): Congratulations on the birth of your 3^rd son. You were invited by Similac to design a tote bag and baby romper for them. What was your inspiration?

Zoe: When Similac asked me to design a tote bag for them, I was surprised, but I thought I’d give it a try anyway. I thought long and hard and had several meetings with my manager. Finally, late one night, I was looking at the Similac teddy bear and it all came together. We decided to put the teddy bear emblem all over the bag as it is so cute.

TAP: Tell us about the Limited Edition Similac Mummy Tote Bag.

Zoe: I wanted to come up with a bag that all mothers can appreciate. So in my design, the bag has to be light-weight, waterproof, and full of compartments – bottles and mummy’s wallet on the side, diaper mat on the back and tissue papers on the front. I chose black as the background as you cannot go wrong with black. Plus men can carry and not be averse to it.

TAP: What do you look for in a tote bag?

Zoe: Practical and Fashionable, lots of pockets to put all my knick knacks.

TAP: What styles do your boys adopt?

Zoe: Boys are pretty easy; they are always in Bermudas, shorts, T-shirt, sneakers and jeans. My 2^ndson wears hand me downs from his big brother. My 2 boys have very different styles. My 1^st son is very easy. He wears whatever I take out. My 2^nd son has very strong ideas. He likes to choose his own colour and style and is very insistent on his own style.

TAP: Where do you shop or buy clothes for them.

Zoe: I shop online alot. I like baby Gap, Paul Frank and a Japanese brand called Konka’s. Also, a lot of friends give clothes to my sons as gifts.

TAP: What about yourself? What is your style?

Zoe: (with a laugh) When I was pregnant this last time, I bought normal fashion clothes that is trendy, loose and baggy, and fashionable of course. And I wear them during my pregnancy. So, now I still have a lot of nice clothes and I can fit into them.

TAP: How do you look so beautiful after giving birth to 3 kids? What are your beauty secrets?

Zoe: I watch out for my diet, and take care of my kids myself, that’s the fastest way to slim down. I keep a balanced diet and have lots of fluids, lots of fish and lots of vegetables and fruits. I love fruits. I crave fruits as other people crave for char kway teow. I also drink 2 cups of milk a day especially now because I am nursing my baby.

TAP: With such a busy schedule as mom, career woman and wife, how do you manage to do it all?

Zoe: You have to enjoy what you are doing. For me, acting is a passion and I still love doing it. Although I don’t encourage my kids into the industry because it’s tough. I also love to spend time with the kids and hear their laughter and conversation. I have so much fun and joy spending time with them.

TAP: Was there a time when you were torn between work and family? How do you find time for your kids with such demanding schedules?

Zoe: Yes! My 2^nd child has a tendency to get fever when he was young, because his older brother goes to day-care and passes the germs to him. Once, when he was a few months old, I was on set filming and I got a call. He had a fever of 40 degrees. I couldn’t leave work. I had to call my mom and neighbour to help send him to the hospital. Luckily I have a very nice neighbour.

As mothers, you always feel guilty when you go to work. When I’m home, I try to take care of the baby myself. Luckily, my babies are very well taken care of by my helpers. You have to let go sometimes. If you want helpers to help you, you must trust them to help.

TAP: What is your discipline style? Who is the disciplinarian at home – you or Philip?

Zoe: I’m more strict. When it comes to parenting, Philip and I will talk and we try to respect each other’s parenting style. We always try to be calm and when one is disciplining the child, we do not get involve. Like there was once, Philip was disciplining my son. He came to me for help. But I told him, no, he must listen to “baba” – father.

TAP: Do you send your kids for enrichment classes? How do you coach them?

Zoe: I consult lots of my friends for advice on the best enrichment classes to send the boys. But I don’t want to over-stress them. My mother-in-law is a teacher, so she helps to teach them in Maths and English.

TAP: With the recent interest in teaching kids to speak Mandarin. How do you enforce your children to speak the language?

Zoe: The kids have to speak the language. You have to force them to speak Mandarin. For example, if they know how to say table in English, you must ask or teach them to say it in Mandarin. Create an environment for them to learn, play games with them in Chinese, and let them understand the culture. That is very important.

Click here to get Zoe’s limited edition Similac Mummy Tote bag (300 pieces only) and Gain IQ Baby Rompers before 4 Feb.

This post first appeared on theAsianparent.com in 2011