Moving on - Universal Scribbles

Dear Friends,

Thank you for visiting this site.  I have migrated this site to Universal Scribbles -  Conversations among friends. Do join me there for new updates and articles on parenting, travels, lifestyle and personal development.

In addition, I have also set up a Facebook page.  Please "Like" the page.

See you at the new site.

Cheers,
Meiling

Imagination and creativity learning at the Science Centre

Want to encourage imagination and creativity in your child? 

Great news!  The Science Centre Singapore is collaborating with Make*Believe, a company specialising in children's enrichment programmes to roll out a series of themed Make*Believe programmes for students aged 18 months to 6 years.

Interactive blocks for kids to build anything that seize their imagination.

The first in the series is a 50-minute enrichment programme called "Common Spaces", which is based on architecture and urban planning.  There are 4 hands-on stations for the pre-schoolers to explore. Learning activities are built around a local landmark building (Central Fire Station), fire engine, fireman and city planning.

There are two types of common spaces, said Ms Juliana Teo, co-founder of Make*Believe and principal architect of Metropolitan Office of Architects. She explains that common spaces exist in the physical form like a playground or a sand pit, but also exist in the children's mind, so let's pretend to be pirates or princesses.  

"We aim to provide a fun-filled learning experience which cannot be easily replicated in school," said Michael Chay, Director of Marketing & Communications of the Science Centre Singapore.

Lay Wee Mee, a mother of 3 and co-founder of Make*Believe, adds that she hopes the exhibition will give parents some idea on how to engage with their children further and the teachers different perspectives to encourage the spirit of learning in children.

Using the Central Fire Station as a  backdrop, students learn about the design of Singapore's oldest fire station and are guided to piece together puzzles and cubes of varying levels of difficulty.

Signs in the City - Students take on the role of city planning and learn about shapes, numbers, space and more!

3D puzzle blocks

To Believe is to have confidence in, to have an opinion of, and to accept as real.  

Make is to create, transform, build, change and to put parts together to make a whole.  

Make*Believe is the coming together of the imagination and reality. Through different activities, mediums and platforms, children are encouraged to explore and experience concepts and make new discoveries through the lens of science, architecture and design.

Come and play with your kids.  They just might teach you something new.

Common Spaces is open to public on weekday afternoons and weekends.  For more information on timing and admission fees, please contact the Science Center Singapore at 6425 2500.  

The Singlish Dilemma

I cringe every time I hear my children speak Singlish. “I cannot lah,” they’ll say or “Why so like that one, ah?” And then, there are these definite shudder-inducing phrases, “mummy, today eat what”, “I already eat” and “can go or not?"

Courtesy of theAsianparent.com

Now, before you get all worked up, this article is not about dissing Singlish or Singaporeans.  It is rather about the challenges we as Singaporeans face when it comes to speaking proper English. Without a doubt Singlish has become very much a part of our identity today, and I am not an advocate of eradicating it; we all know how useful it can be. The real dilemma is in how to encourage the use of proper English, while not necessarily eroding our Singlish heritage.

At the launch of the recent “Speak Good English Movement” initiated by the government earlier this month, Minister of State Mr. Lawrence Wong, said that the objective of this year’s movement is to “enable every Singaporean to speak Standard English – that is grammatically correct, commonly understood around the world and intelligible to English speakers everywhere.”

When I met with Mr Goh Eck Kheng, Chairman of the movement, he was quick to point out that “Singlish has a role in Singapore and is a marker of Singapore’s identity.” He emphasized that “we are not here to eradicate Singlish but to promote English because it is an advantage that we already have in the international community and it is something we cannot afford to lose.”

So, why do we have so much difficulty speaking in a language that is recognized by the international English community?

Mr. Goh believes it all boils down to the mind-set.  “You can speak in simple English even if you are at the hawker or to the taxi uncle. Try saying ‘Uncle may I have some chilli?’ instead of ‘Uncle, chilli.’”

He stresses it is important that those who can speak well must not give in to societal pressure to “dumb down” their language. Instead they should serve as role models so that the standard of English in Singapore is elevated. He also advocates that one must know how to switch between Singlish and proper English, and learn to effectively use both languages to build relationships under appropriate circumstances.

Georgina Knight-Hassel and her husband, Chris, have been living in Singapore for the last 14 years.  Originally from the West of England, the couple settled in the heartlands of Singapore.  When their older daughter, Elizabeth, was younger she spoke in Singlish despite her parents being native English speakers.  Her mother explains that this was mainly due to her social activities with the local children in school and at the playgrounds.  But during her visits to England, Elizabeth realized that her British cousins and relatives could not understand her ‘colloquial English’. She quickly became aware that if she was to be understood elsewhere, she needed to speak in proper English.

Her younger sister, Lily, on the other hand, was more influenced by Georgina’s presence and spoke in proper English.  But when she entered a local primary school, she too began to speak Singlish.

Are they “dumbing down” as Mr. Goh suggests? Definitely not, said their mother.  ”The girls are merely trying to fit into their environment.”  She adds that both girls, now 7 and 11, have learnt how to easily switch between Singlish and British English with ease.

What about our local kids?  Can they learn to switch too?

Mr. Goh believes they can.  With good role models, he assures us that little children can differentiate languages by listening and absorbing them.  For families who do not have a strong foundation in English, Mr. Goh suggests these options:

1. use the mother tongue to converse with the kids
2. outsource or find good English speaking role models for their children in enrichment centres or schools
3. children will recognize the efforts of their parents or caregivers when they consciously try to speak proper English and will follow suit.
4. allow the children to influence and help the adults at home speak better English.

Adel Ang, Channel Sales Manager at TREND Micro, has two kids, 3 and 5, who correct the way she speaks English.  She confesses that sometimes she doesn’t “feel at ease” when her kids correct her, but admits it has made her more conscious of the way she speaks English around them.

So, is it a parenting or an education issue?

Some parents like Ms Ng Yi Ling try to impart good English speaking skills to their children but say their efforts are thwarted whenever someone speaks Singlish to them.  Others like Ms Mei Loh blame it on impatience. “Children can be impatient to get the message across so they resort to using wrong grammar; parents are impatient too so they often fail to correct them.”

It seems it takes a conscious effort from parents, schools and the public in general to enable our children to speak in proper English AND be able to switch to Singlish when needed.

“Speaking in proper English is speaking in proper sentences,” says Georgina.  “While the school teaches them the technical aspects of grammar and vocabulary, as parents, we can supplement this education with guidance and encouragement as well as giving them opportunities to practice speaking in proper English.”

Georgina shares some tips she uses to help her kids speak in proper English.

1. Be aware and conscious of the way you speak around your child
2. Allow the child to hear conversations in grammatically correct English
3. Don’t correct your child each time he/she speaks
4. Remind them to speak clearly, not to mumble, and to pronounce the endings of their words
5. Practice makes perfect – have conversations with them
6. Encourage your child to finish his/her sentence
7. Discuss, debate and/or talk about the difference between colloquial and proper English
8. Give them the freedom to clarify the pronunciation of words – (eg. American or British pronunciation of tomato or mischievous)

Sure, my kids will continue to speak in Singlish.  They are Singaporeans after all. And I know I will continue to reply, once in a while, with my usual sarcastic “Excuse me? What did you just say? I don’t quite understand you.” But I’m pretty confident they are able to switch and speak in formal, proper English when required.  And that, I suppose, is fundamentally the most important thing we need to ensure.

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There are many more great tips and insights on the official website of Speak Good English movement. As with the learning of any language, it takes time, patience and perseverance to master a language. Share with us how you encourage your kids to speak proper English.

This article first appeared in theAsianparent.com

When Should Kids Have Their Own Mobile Phone

Nine-year-old Emma Knapp and her sister, Margot, 7, go to school two blocks from their home. They both carry a phone each to school. While Emma uses it sparingly to call her mom to pick her up after sailing lessons, Margot loves to get social calls from her friends.

Pat Kwek gave her only child a mobile phone when she was in Primary-three (P3). “She needs to walk home (alone) after school; the phone’s for emergency use,” she explains.  But she confessed that her daughter, now in Primary-five (P5) “has increasingly been using it excessively after school” and has now decided to confiscate it.

Courtesy of theAsianparent.com

Nelawati Moohamad Hock’s 9 year old son has had a mobile phone since he was in P2.  The mother of 3 gave her eldest son a phone so that she can communicate with him between her drop-offs and pick-ups to and from school.   “[Also], if we are going out, I usually hold his two younger siblings and he ends up walking by himself, following behind me.  In case he gets lost in crowded places, he can always call me. So far, he’s been responsible,” she adds.

While some parents feel that it is prudent to give their kids a mobile phone to stay in touch, others like Madelene Tan is holding off the inevitable for as long as possible.

“I don’t see a need for mobile phone since he takes the school bus and goes to student care after school,” she said of her primary one child.   Martha Chan Liebman agrees.  Her nine-year-old son does not have a phone and hasn’t asked for one yet.  But she concedes that she would give him one “when she deemed it necessary.”

Evelyn Koh has not given any to her kids yet, but is thinking of doing so when they start going for tuition, while Lee Li Kian said she prefers her children “use [the] coin phone in school if they ever need to call.”

While parents are divided over the age their child should own a mobile phone, there is no denying that the mobile phone is increasingly becoming a necessary accessory for the new generation. But where does one draw the line? Are primary school kids too young to own a mobile phone or can they be trusted with the responsibility that comes with it?

Guided ownership

Parents like Jack Loo, doesn’t think it’s an issue.  He gave his daughter her personal phone when she started primary one, but clearly stated his rules to her.  She cannot bring the phone to school and is allowed to carry the phone only on school excursions or outings with her friends or cousins, without her parents present.

Loo is the Director of Alpha Telecom Pte Ltd, a SingTel exclusive retail partner at Funan Centre and has been in the telecommunication industry for over 20 years.  He has noticed a tremendous change in the landscape of mobile phone sales in the last two years.  “Parents are buying Smart phones for their kids as incentive for good grades or behaviour,” he said.  “Even the Blackberry, formerly known as an Executive’s phone, is now popular among teenagers because of its social media properties. They can Tweet, Facebook and MSN each other easier, faster, and with the data plan, for FREE.”

Basic phones are best suited for kids

But SMART phones can be a distraction for a young child.  Loo advises parents to opt for a simple, basic phone for their younger kids to eliminate any gaming temptation or penchant to abuse their calling privileges.

He also recommends getting a pre-paid SIM card for their child’s phone to avoid what he calls a “bill-shock”.  While some parents worry about the lack of funds in the pre-paid card, Loo reassures that the pre-paid card will prompt the user when the funds are low and need replenishing.

Is Cell Phone safe for my child?

The decision to give a personal phone to a primary school student is very much dependent on the family’s needs (as expressed by parents above).  However, aside from the usual warning against obvious risks like giving out phone numbers to or taking calls from strangers, there are other potential hazards.

Earlier this year (May), the World Health Organization (WHO) issued a health warning regarding the potential dangers of cell phone radiation.  While the findings remain controversial, they are sufficient to cause some countries like Finland and France to be concerned enough to issue public warnings.

Experts like Devra Davis, epidemiologist, author (Disconnect: The Truth about Cell Phone Radiation) and founder of the Environmental Health Trust,  are concerned that our children are exposed to cell phone radiation at an earlier age and over a longer period of time, and because their nervous systems are not fully developed, they are more susceptible to the effects of radiation.

Still, with inconclusive findings and insufficient research done, we are still in the dark whether this is a real threat or just another scientific spoof.

Another concern that is gaining grounds among parents is the usage of text slang in messaging.  While there is some worry that frequent use of such slang may affect their children’s ability to read or write properly, parents seem to be more anxious about text abbreviations becoming a communication barrier between them and their children.

Decoding our children’s txt messages

Text slang used by kids comes in the form of acronyms, abbreviated words, numbers, letters and symbols for sounds.  We are familiar with common ones like LOL (Laughing out loud), OMG (oh my god), 121(one to one), and gf / bf / bff (girlfriend / boyfriend / best friend), but here are some of the sporadic ones that may pop up in your child’s phone:

1. I h8 txt msgs – I hate text messages
2. Gr8 / W8 – great / wait
3. W/E – whatever
4. RUOK – are you ok?
5. Cmb – call me back
6. CUL – see you later
7. TTLY – Totally
8. xlnt – excellent
9. hldmecls – hold me close
10. 2bctnd – to be continued
11. Iowan2bwu – I only want to be with you
12. Roflmao – rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off
13. Cu2nite – See you tonight
14. WYSIWYG – what you see is what you get
15. IWYWH – I wish you were here
16. JC – just chilling
17. KWIM – know what I mean
18. PITA – pain in the ass
19. IDC / IDK – I don’t care / I don’t know
20. GTG /G2G – Got to go / Get together

While the mobile phone has brought about unprecedented ease and convenience in terms of communication, the potential hazards are very real. There can therefore be no clear cut rules on when your kid should have that first phone. All we can probably do is try and limit the potential dangers and misuse as best we can.

This article first appeared in theAsianparent.com.

How to tell if your husband is cheating on you.

Jack Neo isn't the only husband to stray when he already has a fabulous wife by his side. Wondering if yours is too? Here are 9 red flags that you should look out for!

It’s been a while.  Your hubby has been a bit distracted. You are not entirely certain, and you don’t want to be too suspicious but you can’t help wondering: Is he cheating on me?

Citrix Chee, a counsellor from the Kang Ren Counselling Services has seen her fair share of cheating spouses.  She shares that the main reasons for infidelity are the husbands’ inability to resist the advances from China ladies, or temptations from female colleagues, but she also adds that communication barrier between the couple and unavailability of the wife as a sexual partner to the husband are also contributing factors to extramarital affairs.

When a man is unfaithful to his wife, there is generally an increase in secrecy, abnormal changes in behaviour and attitude and an unexplained distance between the two of you. Here are some clues to look out for if you suspect your trust is being betrayed:

1. “How good do I look?” When your man suddenly becomes overly concerned with his looks, he is either coming out of the closet, going through a midlife crisis or cheating on you. Either way, it probably spells trouble.  Observe his sudden change in grooming habits such as getting or changing to a new cologne, obsession with going to the gym, or getting a new hairstyle or wardrobe. Be mindful if he acts like a teenager going on his first date.
2. “I have to work.” Watch out for any sudden changes to his work schedule, for example is he working late or travelling more than usual? The work commitments are usually not in the office and he is snappish whenever you try to inquire about his schedule. A cheating man doesn’t want to be accountable for his whereabouts.
3. “I need to answer this call or email. It’s urgent.” Is he taking calls at irregular hours of the day or night? Does he drop his voice or answer in a softer tone when he takes particular calls? Loud warning bells should go off if your husband suddenly begins to excuse himself and takes his calls privately, out of your hearing range, and not giving you any plausible reasons for the calls. Or if he begins to spend excessive amounts of time on the computer, answering emails or replying to face book comments (that are not yours).
4. “Please don’t touch my cell phone.” Does he password protect his cell phone, computer, email and or Facebook account? The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, or cell phone texts So if he’s being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer.
5. “I want more or no sex.” Another symptom of infidelity is a change in sexual desire. Cheating husbands will often stop having sex with their wives or suddenly want to have more.  The latter is usually to assuage their guilt.
6. “I need some space or alone time.” A man who has betrayed his marriage covenant may act aggressively towards his wife.  He may start to pick fights or find faults with her to justify his reason for having his affair. If your husband has a sudden adverse change in attitude towards you, your family or home life, your guard should go up.
7. “Where has the money gone?” If your husband suddenly has no money to spend on you, your children or your family, you should be concern. Having an affair is costly, requiring your husband to spend money on flowers, wining & dining, gifts or dirty weekends away. But some husbands are crafty and will make use of company expenses or become adept at hiding their expenses from you.  Check his wallet for unexplainable receipts or look for more obvious signs like random purchases or unfamiliar scents on his body or clothes.
8. “Why are you carrying a condom?” Look out for physical clues of an affair such as lipstick on shirt collars, perfume odours on shirts or jackets, secretion stains on underwear. Are there unexplained bits of paper, receipts, and condoms in his pockets?
9. “Something is just not right.” Sometimes, despite all your precaution, it might be hard to track a devious cheater. Trust your intuition or gut feeling if something is not right.  Whether your husband is cheating on you or not, your investigations may lead to new discoveries.

But if you are still not sure, or you know that he IS cheating on you, here are a few websites to help you catch your cheating spouse.

• geylangchecker.blogspot.com – a female vigilante website exposing men for cheating with prostitutes.
• www.dpquest.com –  a detective agency that will help you get concrete evidence against your cheating spouse.
• www.catchcheatingspouse.org.sg/ – a portal that supplies a list of private investigators in Singapore

There is nothing worse or more difficult than the realization or suspicion that the one person whom you trusted and loved most is cheating on you.  According to the Statistics on Marriages and Divorces, 2010, divorces among Singaporeans are still high; especially those aged 35 – 44.   Couples who were married for up to 10 years accounted for the largest group of divorces last year.  97% of these applicants cited “unreasonable behaviour” and “having lived apart or separated for three years or more” as main reasons for divorce.

But not all infidelity cases end up in the Divorce Courts.  Chee says that couples can choose counselling as recourse but the success of these sessions depends on several factors:

1) The initial communication between the couple before the affair started.  If the husband had felt abused emotionally or psychologically by the wife and found solace in the “other” woman, he may not wish to continue the relationship with his wife.

2) The reason the affair began in the first place – was it one-time faux pas, sexual frustration at home or a long-term affair with the lover. “It all depends on the mom,” Chee says. “Usually the female wants to save the relationship; if it is a first offence, the wife is more willing to forgive.  However, if it is repeated offences, the marriage is often dissolved.”

3) Are there children involved? Children play an integral part in the reconciliation process.  According to Chee, couples with children under 5 years old are more open to reconcile or manage their relationship with counselling, whereas those with grown up children are more likely to separate.

If you wish to know more about marriage counselling, check out this list of services here.

This article first appeared in theAsianparent.com.